Give me an idea of approximately how fancy I'm expected to be and I will make the utmost effort to meet or surpass that level of fanciness.
04.29.04    mountain dew tastes bad
I Did the Dew
I had some dental work done. And afterwards, my dentist told me not to have coffee or Coke or tea or anything that would stain my teeth for a day.

But, without caffeine, I grind to a halt like The Tin Man. I become a rusted robot.

So I ended up buying a 20 ounce bottle of Mountain Dew and downing it.

You know how in the commercials, the rad young extreme sports aficionados snowboard from mountain to mountain and then excitedly pour a Mountain Dew into their throats while rage rock blares in the background?

Well, I found the experience to be nothing of the sort.

It was more like leaning against my filthy car in a grocery store parking lot, desperately chugging corn syrup crap water. And then waiting for my headache to subside.

I think that's what they should show in their commercials.
04.26.04    go, rabbit
child-encumbered rabbitcar circling giant cracked egg
Highlite Rides: Venture-Go-Rounds
Whether or not you are in the market for low-maintenance, high-capacity amusement equipment, you may enjoy window-shopping.

04.22.04    Anthony Gonsalves
Happy Easter
amazing Bollywood clip
Turbanhead presents this to us for our consideration: a sophisticated gentleman, wearing a top-hat and monocle, arrives in a giant easter egg, does some song and dance, falls in love, and then gets in a fight.
the dude has THREE purple hearts
i liked the part where the conservative commentators go after the war veteran, saying, "he might not have deserved one of those three purple hearts."

first of all, who says to a veteran, "hey, when you sacrificed your life for your country, well that was nice, but no way did it deserve a purple heart"?

secondly, the guy has three of 'em. so let's say for the sake of argument that these commentators are correct, and that one of the three was just gratuitous--at the very worst, the guy deserved two purple hearts. "jeez, some war veteran you are, only coming home with two purple hearts."

meanwhile their guy was too coked up to bother showing up for national guard duty.

i can't wait to see what other weirdo doublethink mindgames they have planned for the rest of this election. so far this one's my favorite, just for it's wrong-headedness. and it's just so perfect in its mean evilness.


** Test item, Please Do Not Bid **
also: [Thanks, J.J. Magic] Sharpeworld
Do you like to be interested in new information? Do you like to look at things? How about smiling--do you like that? Or maybe not even smiling, but just a quick head nod accompanied by a twitch of the cheek--does that sound like fun? Well, then, I have some good news: Sharpeworld is back in town.

04.12.04    Absolute Kimiaki Yageashi
Absolute Kimiaki Yaegashi
Kimiaki Yaegashi's Personal Works 2000-2003
I adore these Flash pieces. I think you should adore them too. And I also enjoyed her biz works.

In addition, I find the following statements made by Ms. Yaegashi in her work, to be wholly correct and agreeable:

"Quality & Performance Have No Substitute."

And, "This Exposition is Held Every Day for You!"

Also don't miss the special. Barinco Lullamoi for Love
comes in a box now. The Electric Company Digital Archive
If you didn't grow up watching this show, I suspect that the mp3s and video clips may be of only minimal interest.

But for me, oh man--There's A Banana In Your Ear is still totally hilarious. As is It's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!

And I think almost anyone should be able to appreciate The City Cat & The Baby. That one's out of sight even if you're a complete jive turkey.

Same with Counting Pinball, which is a classic. Suntory Torys
Great character illustration. For relaxing times, make it Suntory times.

[Thanks, John.]
Ryohei Yanagihara Museum
"Ryohei Yanagihara is the honorary captain of Mitsui O.S.K. Lines. Why, the honorary captain? You can find the roots of the circumstances in the Library. The honorary captain has made many cutout works of ships. The museum has been opened to let the visitor fully enjoy viewing the works of art by Captain Yanagihara."

[Thanks again, John.]
Bush ad
Okay, here's a sketch I wrote.

Basically, I have been writing some sketches with two other people which will likely be performed in front of an audience sometime in the future. And this particular sketch is a reject from that process.

Rather than shelve it to be revisited later, I'm making it available for you to enjoy or not.

It's based on the first round of Bush ads. So its comedic content has a quickly-approaching expiration date. It's funniness freshness dated. Maybe you'll read it right now and think that it's already spoiled. Nope. Not quite. Not yet. It's supposed to taste like that.

Anyway, here you go: bush_ad.pdf. (6 pages, 36k)
04.05.04    brachetti!
Oh, Brachetti!
Here are some faces of Arturo Brachetti, the master of metamorphosis. Music Steev got in South America
Steev Hise traveled around South America for about 3 months, collecting some music, photos and observations, all of which he is sharing with you.

The travel writing is interesting. And I liked hearing the music I've never heard before. There are some regional classics, which that's always great--the music that's a classic somewhere but that you've maybe never ever heard. And there are some contemporary tracks as well.
more extra crazy
Now the woman who delivers our mail knocks on our door; if I'm home, I answer it. I say hello. And she just stares at me. She is such a weirdo.