pantsmail - 6:38 pm - Friday,September 28, 2001


date : 6:38 pm - Friday,September 28, 2001

from : mrp

subject : PANTSMAIL 015: the rocker guy in Staples

Hello welcome to pantsmail 015 blah blah yeah.

I'm in LA now. A lot has happened since last I wrote anything anywhere, but right now I want to tell you about the rocker guy I saw in Staples.

I was at Staples, buying paper with which to do some laser printing. I like to do a little laser printing from time to time. Those of you who know me personally, know that this is true.

And while I was at the checkout counter, I looked up at the store entrance just in time to see a rocker guy glide in. He was dressed more like an off-duty rocker: just jeans and a white t-shirt (instead of frayed jeans, a studded belt, and a black t-shirt). But, even in his casual attire, you could tell that he partakes immoderately in the rock and roll lifestyle--the damaged hair is always a giveaway. Also, the rocker strut: maintaining toughness while bobbing to the beat--a beat that only he can even hear, let alone get into with some head-bobbing.

Anyway, I've seen rockers before. You've all seen rockers. I'm not calling up Scully to report a rocker sighting, because I know that such sightings are not noteworthy. No. The remarkable thing about this guy was that he was in Staples--and was totally giving off the vibe that: "I am still fully The Dude. I am 100 percent rock monster forever and always, whether I'm jamming on my Flying V or stocking up on Post-It notes and binders."

Oh, except that this just occurred to me. One big concert venue around here is the Staples Center. So, maybe this guy was confused.

That's pretty much all I have to say right now, except that I've updated Finally.

I appreciate your continued patronage. In the days and weeks ahead, I promise that will be for you a beam of sunlight that you've somehow managed to lasso and keep tethered to a doorknob. Or perhaps, it will be a cheery ladybug that flies in through your open window, buzzes twice around your head, lands gently on your coffee table, and then surprises you by suddenly growing to twice the size of a Ford Explorer. Or might even be a regrettable impulse item like three medium-sized bags of M&Ms for $1.88 each, at Staples, purchased by a rocker guy with some two-dollar bills that are wet and smell like Bacardi.

In any case, you'll want to stay tuned for that. Oh sweet Jesus, you do not want to miss that. No. Hell no, you do not.