"...detects and blocks cat typing"
i love this: cat-like typing detected.
Gay Guy In A Spacesuit Announces Run for President; Begins 20 Year Campaign.
"Political Analysts say the move is a daring one, especially in the current political climate which favors a 6 month campaign. Most agree though that the move is essential, however, to overcome another political handicap: His status as a gay man, wearing a spacesuit."
and don't miss this photo of him with Kennedy.
Man Hides Monkeys in Luggage
he had 3 little fellers in his bag. (from the new york times.)
if you live in new york, you might consider casting your vote for Al "Grandpa Munster" Lewis for US Senate.
here's his open letter to Hillary which put misterpants in a quandary because misterpants likes Hillary AND Grandpa (AND talking about himself in third person!).
luckily misterpants doesn't have to decide because he's not a resident of the state of New York.
(and also, luckily, he was lying about the third person thing; he doesn't like that at all.)
webcasts of Grandpa Munster's radio show
where he talks non-stop about prison reform.
interesting interview with Al "Grandpa" Lewis
from The Shadow, "New York City's only underground newspaper."
Therein, Al Lewis discusses working in the circus, Charles Manson babysitting his kids, battles at sea, selling snake oil, being a labor organizer in the 30s, junkies, and Tom Cruise's acting ability.
And he says great stuff like, "The old mule still pulls the wagon. Not as fast, but still pulls it, gets it home."
Al Lewis bio page
from munsters.com. doesn't nearly capture the "colorful character" of Grandpa M we get from The Shadow interview.
apparently, munsters.com is maintained by Butch Patrick, aka Eddie Munster who is available for halloween parties, etc.
extremely useful royalty free image. it tells the story of an egg and something that happens that makes it sad.
[much obliged, Scout.]
PHAR 733 Controlled-Release Products
kind of interesting--big pictures of the insides of various pills, with descriptions of how the time-release works for each one. lots of copolymers and semipermeable membranes and whatnot.
new york times hip-hop article
pretty interesting. most hip-hop dollars end up in white bank accounts--lots more to the article than that though.
[again thanks, Chisato.]
|horenso chip star
new artifact. delicious green processed spinach chips.
|reader-submitted international root beer info
a reader writes:
"Root Beer isn't an American only drink - but it's very odd where it pops up and where it is completly absent - at least in Asia.
In these countries, I have found root beer - most common form is A&W Fast Food restaurants (which seem to have disappeared from the US) - Malaysia, Taiwan, Philippines, Singapore. Hong Kong, where I live, root beer is completely foreign.
In China (and some parts of Hong Kong) you can find a root beer substitute called "Sarse" Do not drink this - it is completely disgusting.
Unfortunately, a cursory web search doesn't turn up anything on A&W International or Sarse (although it does seem to have a common theme through the british cult TV series "The Prisoner" and "Mad Max." Weird.)
Ralph Archbold as Ben Franklin
"When he speaks, he IS Ben Franklin."
he's "the Official Ben Franklin for the City of Philadelphia." what?
anyway, i'm glad Ralph Archbold found his thing. i wonder what his advice is to children who want to get into the Benjamin Franklin impersonation biz.
oh, here's another picture of RA as BF. happy.
(bonus link on the BF tip: the "real" ben franklin talking or maybe coughing.)
eagle with spread wings
"magnificent for patriotic decor"
Sean Connery impersonator
if you need a Sean Connery impersonator for your wedding (instead of the traditional Abe Lincoln) and it's important for some reason that this impersonator look pretty much nothing like Sean Connery, then this is the guy for you.
Outside The Box Thinking Speakers
ugh. where did i read someone saying that any poor schmoe who claims to be thinking outside the box is very much inside the box? some new york times thing, i think. anyway, this site features some of the impersonators linked to above. but mostly it's noted again here for their tagline:
"Nothing Makes Your Meeting Come Alive Quite Like a Dead Speaker!"
too late to save the Kahiki
from our columbus, ohio field correspondent: the tragic story of a polynesian paradise in the heart of the midwest slated for bulldozing by walgreen's.
this page sums up the story pretty well:
"The fact that Walgreen's wants to tear down this vital piece of mid-century architecture to put up another ugly and unnecessary pharmacy is offensive on so many levels that I cannot even begin to list them for you.... The fact that one more vital reminder of a time when people cared about how their world looked, and had a good sense of playful optimism about the future (and their present) is being destroyed forever to put up Walgreen's #3008 is tragic.
There are 3007 Walgreen's. There is only ONE Kahiki."
here's the official Kahiki website--where there's no mention of the sale of the property or the impending demise of the beloved canoe-shaped restaurant.
here are some Kahiki reviews:
large hot pipe organ
enormous fire-belching pipe organ. i downloaded their mp3s, which were nice, but didn't have even 1/20th the impact of those enormous photos of the pipe organ itself.
[thanks Patrick B.]
you can't get root beer here. (i guess it's pretty much an america only beverage.) most japanese people who've tried it think it's horrible, seems like. (at least the few who've talked to me about it.)
raw horsemeat is fine. but root beer is gross.
|4th of july
i forgot yesterday was the 4th of july. or rather, i forgot that the 4th of july was a holiday. or something. weird.
star trek ornaments from hallmark
here are some values available exclusively at McDonald's Japan this month:
a very quote-able site about "The Most Unique Eating Utensil Since the Dark Ages."
"PREDICTION: The "Popcorn ForkTM" will be the 4th commonly used eating utensil in the home."
seriously, ha, i could keep copying goofy quotes of the site and pasting them in here, but you should just go there and read the whole thing.
When you do, you will meet Don Sothman, inventor--your nice but eccentric uncle with a cheeseball sense of humor and a million-and-one get-rich-quick schemes.
[thanks Seth G.]
world's largest popcorn kettle
it's a scaled-up replica of a gen-u-ine whirly-pop. yessir!
hello there, again, Don Sothman, inventor.
Always in suspenders, Don Sothman, inventor. He's my suspendered inventor cheeseball uncle hero!
advanced lightning facility
"The Advanced Lightning Facility is an endeavour to construct the largest Tesla Coil system that is theoretically and practically possible."
your generous donations can make the world's largest tesla coil a reality.
[from Patrick B. thanks.]
awesome japanese infoseek tv ads
in super-saturated color, search engine wrestlers do battle: the masked infoseek vs. blonde-trussed Yan-ho. so crazy and good!
it's the must-download movie file of the summer.
basket-shaped office building in columbus, ohio
"1997: The Company completes construction on its Home Office in Newark, Ohio, which resembles the Company's signature product, the Longaberger Medium Market Basket. Approximately 500 Corporate employees move into the 7-story, 180,000 sq. ft. ..." basket! They're working in a basket!
it's like a conceptual artist fantasy project--build a giant basket and convince 500 people to go to work in it every day. in Ohio, no less.
here are photos of the basket being built.
i love living in a world with basket-shaped office buildings.
Haitai Korean snack food company
good food. good translations. good good good.
i hope they have morning sessions where employees chant this at a giant screen from which their benevolent leader's face is beaming HAITAI love vibes at them.
[thanks much, sama.]
alabama poison center's preschool fun page
Help Officer Ugg figure out what you can and cannot play with.
a useful website for children who can read and find their way around the internet, but who don't know not to eat spiders and paint.
the audio files are not to be missed:
[thanks much, Jessica.]
a scooby doo site
with a nice, long, bitter article about the deterioration of scooby doo.
also includes some great sound files (like redbeard), pages from a scooby doo coloring book, details about some different incarnations of the scooby doo show itself, scooby doo theme lyrics, and a little tiny bit of scooby doo news.
help control drooling with sal-tropine
it would be a drag to have a drooling problem. and it would be difficult to come up with a tasteful logo for a drooling treatment.
i don't think i've ever seen thundercats, but everyone can appreciate cartoon voice actors saying bad words.
[from Mike R., thanks.]
"Concrete Cutting Equipment For The Professional
Featured Product: Kennedy MOTOMIXER"
nice. except that i really wish it was "concrete cutting equipment for lovers."
I am Choby!!
i keep checking, but i've never seen Choby make an appearance on his little dog cam. he terrifies me.
|cute but skinless rabbit of Inaba
Tottori prefecture used to be called Inaba. There they have the legend of the rabbit of inaba who had his skin torn off by a shark.
Because of this legend, all over Tottori you see drawings of rabbits; he's a sort of mascot for the prefecture. The unusual thing about the drawings is that the rabbit is usually pink, presumably because he's skinless.
barbie compared to a normal woman|
you've gotta love that barbie's waistline measurement would be almost exactly the same as that of an average-sized housecat.
(also great that it looks like both photographs were captured by a security camera. like from when Barbie and Michele held up the liquor store.)
includes quicktime movies and photos of Eddie Vanslambrouck diving down stairs.
i used to do this as a kid, but more as a "slide" than a "dive." and i usually used a bean bag, or sometimes a sleeping bag. lame compared to the diving stuff really, and probably considered cheating, if you follow the instructions.
my stair-sliding career ended abruptly when a bean bag burst mid-way through a 2-man bean bag slide.
There were bean bag innards all over the living room. There was a clarification of the "no sliding down the steps rule." And I do believe there was also a spanking.
please take a moment to appreciate the fact that most of the stupid things you might choose to engage in now probably do not hold over them the threat of a spanking.
[from mr. human torch. thank you, sir.]
kangaroo scrotum coin purse
ebay. results of search for "kangaroo scrotum."
[thanks Terri, kangaroo scrotum purse searcher and finder. so brilliant to search ebay for "kangaroo scrotum" i'll tell you what: that is seriously bigtime brilliant.]
There's a saying in Japan that goes something like this:
"Summertime is watermelons, windchimes, and The Ventures."
(The Ventures used to tour here every summer.)
there's a song in the top 40 here called "Moter Man" by the group, Super Bell'z. It features the (faked) voice of a train conductor announcing the stops on one of the lines in Tokyo. He says all the things the conductor says on the trains here, "Next stop, Akihabara. Please get off here for Akihabara," and "The doors are opening on the left," and "Be careful not to forget anything." (All in Japanese, though, of course.)
oh, here you go. i've put a moter man mp3 in the misterpants/J-Pop idrive. please note that it's not good music and that i don't recommend it.
Other mixes feature train conductors making announcements for stops on other train lines. One's for the bullet train, I think.
Great concept. But terrible execution--the music's really awful. (As is the Super Bell'z logo.)
background info on Francis E. Dec, Esquire
interesting article about the guy who exposed the "Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment policy made possible solely by Worldwide Computer God Frankenstein Controls. Especially lifelong constant threshold brainwash radio."
by Donna Kossy, retired kook expert.
her whole kooks museum has plenty that's interesting and crazy, but you probably know the site already. and the kooks part of it isn't being updated anymore.
when the kooks museum closed its doors, it was a sad day for kook-watchers everywhere.
be your own boss: how to electroplate baby shoes for pleasure and profit
Some baby shoes are electroplated for charity, and some for fancy dress. But when they're electroplated for pleasure, they're the electroplated baby shoes that I like best.
book review, also by the above-mentioned Donna Kossy.
the rainbow man, "Rockin'" Rollen Stewart
nice detailed article about the john 3:16 rainbow wig guy. (also from the kooks museum.)
here's a straight dope article on the rainbow man. it's basically an abridged version of the same story. so please gauge your rainbow man time commitment and click accordingly.
there's also rainbow man: the movie.
not the band.
"Jeff Harrington has been psychically inducing luminescence in the live cameras of broadcasting TV shows since 1983. ... he can selectively vary the luminescence in such a way as to promote stammering, blinking and incoherence in the on-camera news person. Jeff Harrington's work is best known to the public as the causative factor behind Dan Rather's unfortunate 'What's the Frequency, Kenneth' incident."
Dan Rather's unfortunate 'What's the Frequency, Kenneth' incident
bizarre, old news item from 1997.
(caused by Jeff Harrington's Psychic TV. And Worldwide Computer God Frankenstein Controls. and Michael Stipe.)
comedy distilled to its most basic elements
semi-official Small Wonder site
Small Wonder in rigorous, terrifying detail. Well done minutae, speculation, and general obsessiveness of the typical fan site variety.
on this page, the site deals with issues relating to robots and theology: can a robot pray? and should robots be baptized? if a robot doesn't eat, how would it receive the holy eucharist? and could a robot go to hell? etc.
(don't some robots worship the Worldwide Computer God?)
also, the message board is good: "When the robot voice went, so did just a bit of the love for Small Wonder."
[thanks, human torch.]
the origin of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
plus, the origin of each ingredient of a pb&j.
recipe for peanut butter, apple, and bacon sandwich
bone tumor jeopardy
"...the fun and easy way to review the clinical presentation, radiology, pathology, and treatment of bone tumors!"
[thanks, Brian S.]
lots of pictures of people in costumes. a treat.
|snapshot of japan
in the train station
discreetly picking his nose,
a chubby boyscout.
(i guess it could be a snapshot of anywhere--anywhere where there are boyscouts and boogers.)
race car casket
"The checkered flag is down. 'The Race is over'. This high performance Art Casket places the auto racing fan in the driver's seat for one last lap. Cool caskets for cool people."
from art caskets. there are so many great caskets here that it'll make you sad that you can only be buried once.
sunset would probably be my casket, if i don't expire in outer space (as is my intent). any art good enough for my van is good enough for my casket.
The Top 100 Seventies Singles
with lots of background info on all of them. so good.
dyxploitation: blueprint for revolution issue
"The revolution will bring about so many fabulous changes. For example, never again will our US currency be defaced with portraits of ugly dead men. All bills will feature pictures of cute girls."
sushi fortune telling
i do like sushi. i don't like fortune-telling. but mostly i don't like the looks of that chef.
[Thanks, Mako; Mako's personal site is handsome.]
awesome gif from the burger king kid's site, where Burger King is promoting a movie about chickens escaping from a slaughterhouse. that's right. let me repeat that in bold and all caps: BURGER KING is promoting a movie about CHICKENS ESCAPING FROM A SLAUGHTERHOUSE.
and every BK Broiler or box of Chicken Tenders that you buy at BK will have a picture of one of these cute animated chickens crying or maybe screaming or maybe just simply being slaughtered.
gif also available in tan.
you know that song Greensleeves? it's so old that it must be public domain. so i don't understand why more musicians don't cover that song.
that's my free advice for musicians on a tight budget: Greensleeves.
all this talk of royalties and copyright and the RIAA and Napster. Hey, what's the big deal? Greensleeves is free.