dateURLjapan stuffother
11.23.99 booty getting chart
from funny. ha.

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Dancing, Singing Monkey and Mysterious Cargo Crate
"You'll fall in love with The Macarena Monkey and the 'Let Me Out of Here' Cargo Crate."

"Outstanding Attention Getter!"

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ER episode summaries
Now I'm all caught up on season 6.

And I just this minute decided that for next Halloween, I want to be Dr. Romano.
sad thing i realized in Gakuen-Mae train station yesterday
Everywhere in the world where there is cable television, there is David Hasselhoff.

KCN, a cable + internet provider advertises their service in train stations around here with 24 TVs tuned into 24 different channels. The sound is turned off. But you can stand there and watch the TVs while you wait for your train and it's sometimes kind of neat.

But always out of the corner of your eye, on at least one of those TVs...

David Hasselhoff.
this is a public service announcment. don't ever buy anything from MacMall. They just screwed me over so bad. I'm going to skip the details here. (If anyone's really itching to know, just ask.) But mostly don't buy anything from them, okay?
11.22.99 gift wrapped crap
i'm so digging this right now. it's a realaudio internet radio show out of seattle featuring "punk, new wave, and power pop." and it's mostly stuff i've never heard of before. Scott Bass is my hero today. thank you for including the power pop, Mr. Bass.

also, it's helping me to forget my hatred of realnetworks/realplayer.

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more net radio. pink plastic japanese pop music for young kids. i don't like it. but if i wasn't surrounded by it, i might think it was interesting. as it is, this is pretty much the stuff i was trying to get out of my head when i put on my headphones.

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phantom menace indian butter ad
from amul butter's topical ad campaign which is cool and has graced these pages before.

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filmfare gossip
gossip section of Indian film magazine, filmfare.

Ted Casablanca's great and all, but Indian film gossip is better, or probably it would be if I knew any of the actors:

"If Moushumi and Farouque marry, it will have to be after Moushumi divorces Babu..." but what about her kids? and Farouque is Muslim so he could have 4 wives! oh, and Moushimi would have to become Muslim too! so she'd have to live under the Muslim house-rule of purdah--but would she even be able to?

i wanted to make some sort of bad pun joke headline like "bollywood tattler" but opted instead to write this "i wanted to make this joke..." type sentence which you're reading now. so i'm still putting the joke out there for public consumption, but i'm also able to note that it's hokey and bad in that wink-wink behind-the-scenes insider way we all appreciate. and most importantly, by keeping it out of the headline, i saved us all a little embarassment.
before i arrived in japan, i thought i was going to keep track of all the crazy English I see here. But i see so much that i got numbed to it pretty quickly. now I only notice if something is incredibly crazy or poetic. like the hair salon i saw this weekend called:

"WHOOPEE! It's Hair." how to put jesus in your favicon.ico
lord knows i've tried. also has a chart with all of Christ's miracles in chronological order. I wish these were ranked in order of miraculousness or had pithy reviews next to them.

Healed man with Dropsy
[** 1/2] At best this is a mediocre miracle (come on, Dropsy?) but bonus points to Jesus for giving the Pharisees a hard time in the process.

Ear of Malchus
[**** 1/2] Reattaching a cut-off ear is, in a word, classy! And in terms of all-around helpfulness, this easily ranks as one of the best miracles ever--a good reminder of why they call him The Big JC. It would maybe be a 5-star miracle if we hadn't seen the ear-healing thing done so many times already. Memo to Jesus: for your next miracle, how about conjuring up some new material?

Brunching Shuttlecocks would do it funnier, of course.

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Robot Massaz Portable Massager
Who doesn't want a robot massage?

[from Leslie.]

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good weird cool shockwave art things. grey and sinister and tech-y computer-y. but also beautiful. it's done by the same folks who do simliar nice cool math-y stuff like this on

[sent in by redsmoke. danke.]
shoyu + mayo
Soy sauce and mayonnaise rock my world.

I was introduced to this a couple years ago. (introduced by Chisato. Thank you.) In the states I eat it every once in a while, but since moving to Japan, I've been eating it at least several times a week.

maybe everyone already knows about this and eats it all the time and i'm just joining the soy sauce/mayonnaise game in the third-quarter or something. Regardless, I'm happy to be on the team.

It's just mayonnaise and soy sauce mixed together. I think it's used a lot as a salad dressing here. But I'm learning that it's versatile. you can dip it or you can pour it on. Anything goes! and you can put it on pretty much any vegetable you can think of as well as plenty of things that aren't vegetables, i'm sure:

  • broccoli (mmm)
  • artichokes (good)
  • baked potatoes (yum)
  • fried egg
  • salad (of course)
  • asparagus (tasty)
  • rice (i think so)
  • cauliflower
  • carrots? (sure)
  • brussels sprouts (mmm-hmm)
  • tofu? (why not?)
  • hash browns (the best!)
who would have known that something as simple as creamy, oily, salty fat could be so damn good?

hey, and what better way to embrace world culture as this century draws to a close?

11.17.99Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership: Ask a Rabbi
"Rabbi Mermelstein has volunteered to answer firearms-related questions..."

i can barely believe this is real, but i'm pretty sure it is.

their logo is SWEET!

[this is from Pete, who was kind enough to point out this question from France with Rabbi Mermelstein's level-headed and well-reasoned response.]

11.15.99 pi mnemonics
if you are a nerd and you need to show everyone what an insufferable smarty-pants you are, nothing beats rattling off the first 50 to 80 digits of pi. This Greek guy (he makes a big deal about being Greek) has collected a ton of mnemonic devices for memorizing pi.

Go to it, nerd. And good luck to you!

oh and hey Mr. Greek guy, just because you're Greek and pi is Greek that doesn't make you the big pi expert all of a sudden. you think that you are all about pi but you are not even!

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te form song quicktime movie
japanese lessons not going so good? hey me too, me too. te form got you down? i hear ya. well, here's something that will pick you up. all the te form verbs put to the tune of the alphabet song.

"nu mu bu -nde,
ru u tsu -tte,
ku -ite gu -ide su -shite..."

[from stefan and katherine]
bh90210 (even more tv. sheesh.)
for obvious reasons, the show isn't called 90210 here, but something like "Beverly Hills High School" i think.

interesting, no?

interesting, no.

11.14.99 Bigtrak Salvage U.K.
from 1979 to 1983, bigtrak ruled the hallways.

i hope that you all are down with bigtrak.

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bigtrak owner's manual
how to dismantle your bigtrak.

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worst of cybercheeze
this is a joke-collecting site and of course, it's just miserable reading what they've collected. (i mean, i think we can all agree that most jokes are terrible. and that people who collect jokes are sad specimens. so, the sort of person who would run a joke-collecting website, i don't really even want to think about.)

anyway, they have a section for the very worst jokes they get and while these are miserable too, some are also kind of funny because they make no sense at all. they're like zen koan dada jokes:

Butter Teeth:

Nacho Cheese:
Q: What type of isn't your cheese?
A: Nacho Cheese!

A Cow and a Cow and a Cow (excerpt):
there once was a cow sitting on the street,and in that cow was a another cow,and in the cow inside the cow,was another cow,and inside that cow was another cow,and inside the cow that was inside the cow that was inside the cow that was inside the cow on the street,was anotjer cow!!11 and those 5 cows...
more tv
turns out i can rent video tapes of old Columbo episodes at my local Tsutaya Culture Convenience Club. They have both classic Columbo and Columbo '90. However, they only have dubbed versions--no subtitled versions so if I want to watch Columbo (which I do very much) I can only watch him in Japanese.

Other American TV shows available at the Culture Convenience Club include every episode of ER and The X-Files. Also Twin Peaks.

Another English show I noticed on TV the other night is Beverly Hills 90210. Which, thanks but no thanks.

i did catch a really good show in Japanese that featured a competition to find out which is better, a monkey or a child. They competed in tests of balance, and reflexes, and problem-solving. The monkey won every contest except problem-solving--but that's just because the child cheated.

So monkeys are better.

11.13.99 puffy magazine covers
Puffy is a band. And aside from myself, there's probably like at most 100 other non-Japanese Puffy fans. One of them reads misterpants sometimes, so hey this link is for you! it's a gallery of magazines that had Puffy on the cover. These are all Jetco-era Puffy and earlier. They have a much different look now.

come to think of it, this link is also kind of fun if you just want to see a bunch of japanese magazine covers. name-wise, this is a pretty great selection too. there's BoonWant, Monthly Lemon, Tokyo Walker, Cutie, Monthly PeeWee, Weekly Friday, etc.

this one's the best: Monthly PeeWee never disappoints.

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Puffy for Bikkle
as pop stars, Puffy are obliged to do ads for dozens of different products, including Bikkle.

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Puffy for Lifecard
quicktime movie of a puffy ad, featuring their song, Stray Cat Fever. oh here's another. rocking, rolling, buying on credit.

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japanese site with pictures of faces in inanimate objects.

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special annoying message to foreigners from netscape and the US government
just because i'm a spy and an enemy of the state, i'm not allowed to download the super deluxe 128-bit encrypted version of netscape because they know i will use it to make drugs and bombs.

i'm using NS4 and it's being all flaky and weird--like my bookmarks stopped working. So I want 4.7. I'll skip the long boring story and just tell you that this is my sixth failed attempt to download 4.7. (but only my first attempt to download the heavy duty encryption version.) It's 13Mb and I'm paying by the minute here, so I'm not in the liking Netscape camp this week.

also, follow the link on the annoying message page to the convenient "Not Found" page. ugh. netscape, netscape, netscape, sorry but you're doomed, doomed, doomed.
ranchi baikingu
i went to an indian restaurant and while i was eating, the owner handed me a flyer advertising "ranchi baikingu."

it was kind of like being handed a brain teaser. "while you're waiting for your food, solve this." and it took me a long time to solve but i felt like i'd really accomplished something once i'd figured it out.

ranchi biking...
ranch biking...
raunchy biking...
launchy biking...
lunchy biking...
lunch biking...
lunch biking?...
lunch viking!
Viking lunch.

my favorite typo this month
weiner god.

"They got a weiner god. His name is Oscar."
11.12.99"craig's list gets dissed"
Law News Network article about the nasty spat between Craig Newmark/Craig's List and Nancy Melone/Metrovox. partially interesting is seeing what Craig Newmark looks like. (he looks uncomfortable. and he looks pissed.)

in the courtroom of misterpants' public opinion, the jury's back already and Melone sucks.

[from misterpants' legal correspondent, Pete, Esquire. Pete sent the article, not the embarassingly overly-simplistic analysis.]
yesterday was 11.11.1999 on the Gregorian calendar. that's pretty cool. on the japanese calendar, yesterday was 11.11.11. also cool. perhaps cooler.