Give me an idea of approximately how fancy I'm expected to be and I will make the utmost effort to meet or surpass that level of fanciness.
03.23.05    ro bo lo gos
RoboCop logos: RoboCop, RoboCop, RoboCop 2, Robocop, OCP, OCP, OCP, OCP, OCP.
The RoboCop logos
"A list of all the different RoboCop and OCP logos created for the various movies, tv series, comics and games."

Well collected, Mr. Obsessive Collector. Thank you!

Also, watch the movie RoboCop to see the problems caused by privatizing the Detroit Police: a conflict of interest in the form of RoboCop's secret prime directive.

Privatizing Social Security won't cause that problem, but will likely cause the problem of old people having to eat cat food.
brief bigfoot breather
Do we need a break from bigfoot already? I still have more of the crazy bigfoot jibber-jabber in me, but maybe we need to catch our breath with regards to this particular topic. google ads update
So far, the Google ads are earning somewhere in the $.90 per day range. That's with like 8% click-throughs, which I'm told is very high for such things. So in the near future, when things mellow out, I expect to earn something closer to $.09 per day.

In short: I have managed to monetize Misterpants mouseclicks. And Misterpants mouseclick monetization is meager. Markedly meager.

The Bigfoot Investigative Project
I love this quote: "We are the Galileo, Louis Pasteur,Wright Bros, Columbus of the Bigfoot world."

It is tough to be a genius not understood in your time, but such is the burden of The Bigfoot Investigative Project.

TBIP was jailed for heretical beliefs--specifically that bigfoot revolves around the Earth, and not the other way around.

TBIP's experiments with microscopes led them to formulate a bigfoot theory of disease. This work ultimately resulted in vaccines that prevent many bigfoot-spread illnesses.

At Kitty Hawk, The Bigfoot Investigative Project built the first heavier-than-air flying bigfoot, the principles of which are still the basis for the design of our modern day flying bigfoots.

Finally with the financial support of Queen Isabella of Spain, TBIP attempted to find a sea route to Asia which would allow traders to bypass the hostile Ottoman Empire. Although they failed in this endeavor, they did find themselves in territories unclaimed by a sovereign Christian nation; TBIP claimed these lands for Spain and then proceeded to enslave the local bigfoots for the purpose of building settlements.
Bigfoot and me
I am very serious about getting the bigfoot advertising going, so now I will tell you this true information: as a kid, I was very afraid of bigfoot.

There was a bigfoot movie, the preview of which, showed bigfoot reaching in and pulling a woman's hair as she was showering. I'm not sure which Bigfoot film it was. (If you happen to know, please email me.) I don't think it was The Capture of Bigfoot, The Curse of Bigfoot or even plain old Bigfoot.

Whatever movie it was, that particular scene in that particular film trailer with that particular hairy monster scared me a great deal.

After seeing that, whenever we went on family vacations, I needed to be repeatedly reassured that we were not traveling in a part of the country where the bigfoots are.

You might think that the bigfoot fear would be a relatively easy enough fear for parents to allay, but somehow mine were not very convincing.

They gave me non-committal answers. Instead of simply telling me that there are no bigfoots around here, they'd say, "I'm not sure, but I don't think so."

Now I'm certainly not entitled to be giving anyone parenting advice, least of all my own parents whose jobs I did not make easy even without counting the host of irrational cryptozoological fears, of which the bigfoot fear is really just the tip of the iceberg.

Still, it seems like a simple "no, there are no bigfoots here" would have done the trick. And even in bigfoot country, the low odds of me actually spotting a bigfoot and thereby catching my parents in a lie would seem to make that response a pretty safe choice.

Here's the reason I'm bringing this up: if there are any publishers out there reading this, please disregard what I said about not being qualified to give parenting advice and contact me regarding my book idea: How to Talk to Your Children about Bigfoot.

Coincidentally, the likelihood of a publisher reading this site is equal to the likelihood of a bigfoot reading this site.

Congratulations to Jerusalem Cricket, the invertebrate of the month
I'm a fan of jerusalem cricket, myself, and am not at all surprised to learn that it won invertebrate of the month--narrowly beating planarian and sea cucumber.

It's a big and crazy bug and I found one in my backyard. Although it's non-aggressive, if provoked, the jerusalem cricket may use its powerful jaws to deliver a painful bite. I found that interesting because the same is true for me.

More great photos are here, but some misleading info about the cricket's ferociousness.

Anyway, hooray for Jerusalem Cricket! Texas Bigfoot Reseach Center
It turns out lots of people are pretty serious about bigfoot. These folks have a conference just about every year.

I like their site because it has pretty good professional-looking bigfoot illustrations, as well as these more amateur sketches which are really fun too.

Please also look at these conference photos, which I love, especially this series.

Also, Texas Bigfoot Research Center Christmas ornaments make a great gift any time of year. bigfootsounds.com
Lots of recordings of bigfoot sounds recorded deep in the woods and captured on 2 CDs.

Elsewhere, you can hear the Ohio Howl, recorded in 1994, supposedly the howl of a bigfoot.

Maybe the spookiest bigfoot sound is this 911 call from Washington state.
google ad data
So far the google ads are raking in about $.60 per day.

Jealous? Well, if I see you in the street, I'll be sure to have my driver pull over and let you in so that we can enjoy some caviar together and then wash it down with a champagne toast to my good fortune.

Alien abduction prevention, remote-viewing, and macaroni salad continue to be the product categories of interest to readers of this site, by Google's reckoning. I hope that they're correct and that you really are a bunch of macaroni eaters who fear alien abduction.

As I write this, bigfoot-related merchandise has yet to make an appearance, although today's entry may change that.

Obviously, we can get into a problem area when advertising drives the content.

Critics will say that I'm pandering to the bigfoot advertisers. And they'll be absolutely correct.

I'm definitely going out of my way to make this site more bigfoot-advertising friendly.

03.17.05    eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo.jpg
M.J. as E.O.
Captain Eo
Wow, Francis Ford Coppola directed Captain Eo. Did I know that? I don't think I knew that.

With current affairs what they are, Eo seems unlikely to be resurrected anytime soon. Plus, if you read the script, the movie/experience seems like it might be kind of terrible.
I already sold out a long time ago but am now selling out again so let me draw attention to it right here
As you may notice over there on the right, I'm trying out the Google ads thing.

After a little while, I may decide to scrap it, which is within my limited rights to do, according to Google's contract.

I have no idea if the cost/benefit of ads will be worth it to misterpants dot com. I kind of doubt it. Google very clearly refuses to tell you how much you get paid per click-through. They say something like, "the best way to find out how much money you will make is to try it for a month."

It's like going to a job interview and being told, "The best way to find out what your salary will be is to work for us for a month and see what we give you."

Anyway, I'm not excited about advertising in general, as readers of the site may know by now that as much as I appreciate it and it's part of my life, I do on some levels hate advertising, and now here I am making a new space for advertising on one of the few places where I can actually control and prevent it from being there.

Plus, I honestly do believe that part of the problem in the world right now, and America in particular, is that people buy too much crap. Ad-sponsored media as a system has some blame for this, because while the media can theoretically express a relatively wide range of opinions, it cannot easily say "buy less crap" as it's a kind of buzzkill for the advertising which it depends on for funding.

So media-viewers are encouraged to overconsume to the detriment of our lives and our planet. (I do realize that everyone over the age of 5 already knows this.)

So, anyway, while I'm not into advertising in general or optimistic that this Google thing is going to be any sort of cash cow, I am actually curious what keywords they're going to find and sell because what this site is actually about is difficult to nail down, even for me.

Right now the Google robot has decided it's Macaroni Salad recipes and Alien Merchandise. Which, that is awesome.

I would also like to request ads for bigfoot/sasquatch data. I'm not going to ramble on and on about the hairy man-beast of the Pacific Northwest but hopefully these two sentences will do the trick.

Anyway, the thing I'm really wondering is if the ads will generate enough money to defray the cost of hosting this site, which while not prohibitive is still annoyingly not free.

Ultimately it's an experiment. As is life. And just like life, if it doesn't work out, you delete the javascript from the template file and move on.
03.15.05    partridges 2200 AD
singing family in their colorful space bus
Partridge Family, 2200 A.D.
I'm worried that some people don't know about The Partridge Family, 2200 AD.

It's not my #1 biggest worry, but it's up there.


Fussy.org proudly presents a parade of pooches adorned in attractive attire
This is my oldest unlinked-to link in my folder full of unlinked-to links. It's from June 2004.

Lots has happened since then; for one thing, all of the hair that was on my head at that time is gone and has been replaced by new hair; I usually never think about that but I should.

Let's all take a moment to say goodbye to our old hair, and hello to our new hair. Un ar reizi nā ks tas brīdis
For all you animated Latvian stencil graffiti fans, here's some animated Latvian stencil graffiti.
macaroni and cheese burrito update
Thanks to everyone who emailed suggestions on improving the mac-n-cheese-urrito.

You're all probably correct that various ingredients adding spice or crunchiness or any sort of flavor counterpoint to the starchy simplicity of tortilla and macaroni would help the thing.

For now, however, the misterpants kitchen laboratory is shelving the project in the hopes that a larger institution (Del Taco?) can find the funds necessary to complete the research and publish their findings in a peer-reviewed academic journal.