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As seen NBC, CBS, CNN, and even Oprah. As reported on in the New England Journal of Medicine.
11.04.02  
Jamie Alexander, single-handedly setting Christianity back about a thousand years

Virtual Memory
VM is an extreme teen Bible quiz show from the Trinity Broadcast Network.

If you can, you should watch this sometime. It's the only gameshow I've ever seen that includes a tithing round.

Teenagers (or when I saw it, 30-something Christian rockers) compete to win Christian apparel by answering questions about the Bible and Christian music videos.

The Christian rockers were great because they dressed and acted like the most annoying guys from Any Skateshop, USA. But these radical dudes also knew their Bible like nobody's business.

The host is Jamie Alexander and within ten seconds, you're ready to strangle him. If Jim Carey mated with Jerry Lewis and their baby inherited all the worst traits of its two dads, and then was dropped on its head, Jamie Alexander is that baby.

You can see some show clips (realplayer high-bandwidth and low) quick-cutting between one another with a cheesy electronic music bed. Why Paint Cats
This was on the news. And one of the cats they showed on the news had a clown painted on its ass. (Couldn't find a picture of it online--sad.)

Did you ever think of that before in your life--a cat with a clown painted on its ass? I had never ever thought of that before, so that was a new thing for me. Chewbacca's ID
He's from Texas.


 
11.01.02  
Cheerleaders, Flossy Frog, Hearty Smile, Flautist/Drummer

Sing and Smile
Have a seat because Hearty Smile and Flossy Frog are here to edutain you.

Their song, Keep Your Smile Clean, (realplayer) is a rap song about dental hygiene from the perspective of a tooth and his frog friend.

(Did you know that teeth and frogs are sometimes friends? It would seem a potentially dangerous relationship for the frogs, but they do alright, the frogs.)

And the video, The Hearty Smile Show, really brings that song to life.

There's a little bit more to the site, so I suggest you give yourself some you-time to enjoy it. You deserve it!

There's more audio, as well as The Hearty Smile Brush-A-Long Song video , some pictures, and even a Hearty Smile coloring book.

[Thank you, Owls.]


 
10.31.02  
Star Man, Space Ace, Cat, Demon

KISS 1978 solo albums reviewed
On-target reviews (though he cuts Gene an awful lot of slack).

Even more fun are his bulleted lists of interesting facts about each member.

The 1971-1975 KISS discography is also neat. It includes info on the Ace-less and Criss-less pre-KISS ensemble, Wicked Lester. aa ae ao ea ee eo oa oe lincoln

 
10.30.02  
Uda eating rice, talking on the phone

Uda Atsuka's Flash pieces
Uda makes charming, well-composed, interactive snapshots of daily life.

Her mini-dramas serve as reparations for the Hatt babies and dancing bananas that Flash has cursed us with.

 
10.29.02  
Arinimin V powered

Extra super crazy Japanese Arnold Schwarzenegger ad
(1.4Mb, Quicktime) Found at i-mockery, but there's a more succinct and accurate description of it on Joi Ito's site.

Mr. S's cultural transgression during a late night mah-jong session must be remedied. But how? He scrambles to the hallway and guzzles some Arinimin V. The substance causes a dramatic transformation, like spinach to Popeye. (Or maybe more like prescription painkillers to Elvis Presley.)

Energized, Mr. S returns to the game in a red and gold glitter suit to correct his faux-pas and laugh like a crazy man.

You can also watch the equally whacked-out sequel. (~1Mb, Quicktime)

And if you have a high tolerance, there's more Schwarzenegger at Japander. Bajak flux capacitor info
an excerpt:

"IMPORTANT!

Point transducer output toward the person or thing you want changed. That thing, such as a clock or piece of shelving, Will begin oscillating between past and future....

DANGER! _Do_ _Not_ point at yourself For any appreciable amount of cycles.

DAMAGE to your time detection circuits may occur, Damaging your overall sanity.

You may in the course of activation, meet yourself. Do not panic; Be reassured that if you know yourself, Only one of you will survive...."


 
10.27.02  
The United States of America
America, according to Todd Levin's racist aunt. Here's the full article. time travel
"With the Hyper Dimensional Resonator you can travel into the past or explore the future. The world will be at your beck and call and you will have all the time in the world to explore it."

For more info, check out this fascinating interview from Strange Magazine.

[Thanks, Steve.]
death ship
vs ghost ship. Two posters for two movies about two scary boats. Two too many.

[Thanks, John.]
dogs in halloween costumes
Some other pets too.

I wonder if there's a dog somewhere who likes being dressed in human clothes. Not just like "he doesn't mind it" but actually enjoys it and prefers clothes to nudity.

I want to meet that dog. I would buy that dog some pants.

[Thanks, Holly.]
It's not easy being Grimace
Former McDonald's employee's diary entry about being Grimace for the day. Grimace is heavy and smells bad. Grimace has a lot of problems. How much toothpaste to use
I don't want to ruin the surprise for you, but the answer is "about the size of a pea."

The ads always show people using too much. It's a big scam. Your teeth are mad at you now. Arrest the people responsible. Use less toothpaste. STOP THE LIES!

[via pithlog.]

Rally Monkey
I care zero about sports (unless you count "lookin' pretty" as a sport; for that, I could get a medal--a GOLD medal). I especially don't care about baseball, and--if I may alienate everyone in Los Angeles for a moment--I most especially don't care about baseball teams in Orange County owned by Disney.

But even I can find something to love in a team that employs a rally monkey.

Jumping monkeys work. They motivate. They get people excited. It's a simple concept with proven effectiveness.

Experience it yourself with the splashpage at rallymonkey.com.
 
10.25.02  
Spanish Golden Grahams Bear, very natty in his white T

Topher's Breakfast Cereal Character Guide
Holy crap. Topher has a lot of cereal characters to show you, including international ones and rarities like the short-lived replacement to Lucky the Leprechaun, Waldo the Wizard.

Oh, and this cereal helps children grow up big and strong like Dr. Who.

More from Topher:

 
10.21.02  
Eviltron cube

Flash Rubik's cube
(1.4Mb) Built by Eviltron Labs, the cube is handsome, elegant, and satisfying to manipulate. It's also accompanied by a panel of astronauts ready to lend a hand.

Solve it from an acceptably messed-up arrangement and you will be treated to an astronaut/cube musical extravaganza.

colorful skeletons and clown children ["Diseases of the Oesophagus"]
Useful stock photo.

Some of the skeletons are pals. One of the clowns is happy. No one is wearing any shoes.

[by the way, they've changed it now. the clowns are gone and they've replaced them with a model of "Diseases of the Oesophagus," so probably you don't want to click the link.]

[Thanks, Mercurius.]


 
10.20.02  
Anna Chambers' adoptable zoo

Anna Chambers' stuffed critters
Super cute bestiary borne of cloth. Unfortunately, almost all of them have already been adopted. (It's interesting to note that the cheerful critters were snatched up; while the sullen ones and a smoker remain on the island of unwanted toys.)

The rest of Ms. Chambers' site is really good too. Great illustrations and paintings and links to some other fun illustrators.

There's so much here to tickle your fancy that by the time you're done with this site, your fancy will probably be sore.

[Thanks much, Elizabeth.]
Heikinpäivä 2002 Mid-Winter Festival Photo Gallery
Intricate and unusual headgear, a man impersonating a saint, reindeer, and someone in a bear costume.

From the same site: a super hero. telemarketer counter-script
"...How much do you earn? That doesn't sound bad at all. Do you get time off for going to the dentist? [yes/no] Is it important to have good teeth for your job? ..."

Or to really confuse them, use the Dutch version.
Gray Davis is trying to lose the election
The governor of California is running some of the worst campaign ads ever made.

In them, Davis, in his trademark monotone, drones through a list of his accomplishments. Or something. I can't even remember what he's talking about--that's how bad they are. So hypnotically boring that I can't even focus on what he's saying.

Then, at the end, his flat tone drops to an even-worse chiding tone. He's admonishing us--us, the electorate. He says, "You may not like everything I've done, but I'm working my hardest to do the best for California."

So defensive!

It's an "attack ad," but in this case Davis is attacking himself.

I'm no advertising expert, but I'm pretty sure that you don't want to focus on what people dislike about you. No one ever advises, "accentuate the negative."

"You may not like the way our burgers taste but we have teenagers trained to use our machines to make them quickly and cheaply."

"Our cars may not be safe, but they're big and wasteful and cost a lot of money."

"You may not like our business practices, but ours is the closest coffeeshop to your office."

For Davis, just saying, "I'm less awful than Simon," would, in addition to being true, somehow be more positive.
 
10.19.02  
Halloween trend: Gory costumes are OUT
10/15/02: "Costumes go from gory to friendly"

Apparently, the next day the trend suddenly and dramatically reversed itself.

Halloween trend: Gory costumes are IN
10/16/02: "Gory costumes make a comeback"

And therefore,

Journalism trend: Reporters are making it UP


 
10.17.02  
Otogai's world

Otogai's flash diversions Otogai has a predilection for afros and disco music, but don't let that stop you from enjoying his flash pieces.

There are dozens of them and they're all pretty quick. Some of my favorites:
[Thank you, José]
action figure diorama tribute to September 11
Some people send money. Some people put flags on their cars. Some people wear "FDNY" baseball hats. Some people make dioramas.

(Some people propose unilateral preemptive military strikes against other countries without providing compelling evidence to justify them.)

[Thank you, John.]

Statue of Liberty vs. Mount Rushmore
Who would win?

Mount Rushmore, pros:
  • There are four people up there. So, four against one.
  • All four are known for being scrappy fighters. Lincoln and Roosevelt, especially.
  • Made of granite, a hard rock.
  • Pretty big. (Their faces are 60-feet tall.)
  • Built into a mountain--harder to knock over than a statue.
  • Younger than the Statue of Liberty. Over 50 years younger!
  • Not French.
Statue of Liberty, pros:
  • Also pretty big--her topmost point is 350 feet from the ground.
  • Unlike Mount Rushmore, Statue of Liberty has arms.
  • One of those arms is brandishing a torch, very sharp. Could be used as a weapon.
  • Pointy headgear could also be used as a weapon.
  • Made of steel. Hard stuff.
  • Might be able to persuade tired, hungry, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free to fight alongside her.
The verdict: advantage Rushmore, but not by much.